(Written by kencraw)

Over at CGB they’ve been doing some game lists, the most recent being ranking the Big Games of the decade. I’ve always been one to think that emulating a good idea is nothing to be ashamed of so I decided to make a couple lists myself. I wanted to put a personal touch on it, so I’m picking games that mean a lot to me. The first one, this one, will be the games that when I think about them I want to cry the most. The next post will be the games that carry a special place in my heart.

So, to get the bad out of the way, I give you my Bottom-10 personally most soul-crushing games:

#10 – 2004 Holiday Bowl

There are only two moments that are candidates for the high point in modern Cal football. One was when Cal was ranked #2 mid-season in 2007. The other was just before the 2004 Holiday Bowl started. I was slated to go to the game with my brother and uncle, but my wife was due with our 2nd baby in early January (if I’m remembering correctly the due date was January 7th). At my wife’s weekly prenatal checkup the week before the game, I waited with anticipation to hear the answer the question “how soon?” and found my hopes of going to the game crushed with the answer “any day now”. I’ve since learned that the medical profession’s ability to predict a due date ranks second only to the weather forecast in accuracy. In the end, even though Andrew wasn’t born until January 17th, it was probably a good thing I wasn’t there as this game would be much higher on my list if I had been forced to watch it in person. Nevertheless, deep in my subconscious, the question “where is the secondary?” continues to rattle in my brain to this day.

#9 – 2005 UCLA game

If there was an upside to the 2005 UCLA game it was that I was ahead of the curve in picking up Jones-Drew in my NFL fantasy league when he turned pro, but watching that game on TV and seeing the defense and special teams abused over and over by him makes that upside of little comfort. It took another 4 years for it to happen, but this was the day Alamar, the long loathed special teams coach, officially went on the hot seat. To add injury to insult, if my memory serves, this is still the largest 4th quarter lead blown (12 points) by Tedford’s Bears.

#8 – 2001 Arizona game

I know for those of you who’ve ramped up your fandom after Tedford’s arrival, this game probably seems like a random pick. But for those who were there, this was a disastrous loss. Arizona shared the bottom of the Pac-10 with the Bears on that fateful day, both being win-less in conference play. The fan base in those days had much lower expectations and the Bears being able to keep out of the cellar, while not exactly comforting, was at least something to build on. Win that one, pull off a miracle against Stanford and win at the 9-11 delayed game at Rutgers and the Bears could turn 0-7 into a then-respectable 3-8. Instead the Bears got owned that day with Holmoe showing off his patented “Let’s run it into the middle of the line on 3rd and 8. They couldn’t expect us to do that AGAIN!?! could they?” strategy. Somewhere mid-third quarter when it was clear that any halftime adjustments would not be saving the day, I completely lost it. I stood up and yelled out, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!” Then I walked out of the stadium. It remains the only time I’ve left a game early.

#7 – 2009 USC game

What can one really say about this one? We all remember all too well what happened. This was co-blogger Jason’s turn to walk out of the action and I think that speaks as much about the game as my walking out of the 2001 Arizona game. What a dreadful game that was. I think what makes it worse is that our pre-game hopes, that USC was weak that year, turned out to be every bit as true as we had hoped. What we didn’t expect is that the Bears would play their worst game against USC since Gilbertson was head coach and lost 61-0 to USC. (Caveat: the Bears lost 55-14 to USC in 2001, but that game, while the score was worse, was less of a blowout in principle IMHO.)

#6 – 2000 Big Game

All of the last 3 of Holmoe’s Big Games were a disappointment and I toyed with which of them would be the representative in the list. ’99 had the distinction of the being the game where all of the scoring came from one of our cornerbacks (one INT for a touchdown and one kickoff for a touchdown), but in the end 2000 takes the cake because it went to overtime. After so many years of weak performances the Bears managed to get to overtime in the only overtime Big Game in history (there are number of ties in the series from the days before overtime). Sadly overtime was more reminiscent of the previous Big Games than it was of the previous 60 minutes and the game was over before we knew it.

#5 – 2008 Maryland game

In the big picture, this game wasn’t a horrible loss, but when you’ve traveled across the country and you aren’t used to humid heat, a loss like that sticks with you. Of course the storyline was that the Bears didn’t wake up in time for the game with the 9 AM PDT kickoff, but for those who were there, the heat was the key. Whenever the cloud cover grew thicker or the wind blew a bit it made a noticeable difference in the game. In the end, why the Bears lost is irrelevant because it was a REALLY long way to go to watch them show up so flat and yet again re-affirm both the East Coast idea that the Bears are a joke and so is the Pac-10.

#4 – 2007 Big Game

It’s interesting that two of my top 10 are games immediately before the birth of one of my boys. In this case it was my youngest, who was due a mere 5 days after the game (he was also late – 12/14). But in this case, two things had me going to the game anyway: One, it was driving distance from the hospital so I’d be unlikely to miss the birth, but just the first couple hours of the ordeal. Two, none of my kids have ever missed a Big Game in their lives and I intend to keep it that way. (I even had plans for my brother to take the boys to the game if labor arrived shortly before the game.) In any case, everyone knows what happened. The team that had been in a free-fall, but one that in everyone’s mind had to come to an abrupt stop with suck a weak Stanford in their way. Instead we were treated to another poor effort albeit against a stronger than expected Cardinal. Just like the 2004 Holiday Bowl, the depression of this loss was only ended when I was able to welcome a new son in to the world shortly thereafter.

#3 – 2006 Arizona game

At the time the game was a bit disappointing, but in retrospect this game eats at me like almost no other game. At the time, win or lose that game all the Bears had to do to get to the Rose Bowl was beat USC. But if the Bears had beat Arizona, it turns out they wouldn’t have needed to beat USC to go to the Rose Bowl. What a terrible fate. What horrible officiating. What a bad break on the size of DeSean’s shoe. What a terrible trip by Hawkins at the 1 yard line. What bad play calling on those failed goal line conversions. What ill advised passes by Longshore in those interceptions. What an amazingly depressing game.

#2 – 1990 Big Game

I’ll admit it, before I went to college I was a bandwagon Cal fan. My Dad’s alum, but he wasn’t (and isn’t) that into football. So when the Bears were good, I’d pay attention, but when they weren’t, I didn’t much care. I didn’t listen to the miraculous 1986 Big Game and I missed a lot of heart breaking losses during those poor years of the 80’s. But the late 80’s and early 90’s were good years and I was watching the 1990 Big Game on TV (one of the few in those days that was on TV). I still can’t believe they lost that game. I mean, it was just unbelievable, Stanford touchdown with 12 seconds left -> 2 point conversion that failed (hurray!)-> fans rush field and resulting 15 yard penalty -> onside kick recovery -> roughing the passer call -> 40 yard field goal and a win for the Cardinal. WRETCH! I’ve never felt so sick in my life as that night.

#1 – 2007 Oregon State game

The top two share the same essential elements: Highly regarded team and last minute melt down. Poor Riley to have to be the one who made the mistake, to get tackled with no timeouts and 13 seconds left when in field goal range to tie the game. To make matters worse I had brought my friend who’s an OSU alum to the game (what could it hurt to let him watch his team get beat, right?) and the memory of him jumping up and down going nuts while the rest of us hung our heads will pain me forever. It makes it even worse to have seen the team fall so far after that.

Honorable mentions: the 2003 Utah game that got 2003 off to a bad start, the 2004 USC game that prevented a national title run, the 2002 Air Force game that ended the great start to the Tedford era, the 2001 Big Game that made it 7 losses in a row, the 2009 Poinsettia Bowl that made 2009 so mediocre, the 1999 Big Game that mostly consisted of Stanford keeping the ball out of Delta O’Neil’s hands, the 2006 Tennessee game that only missed the list because of how good the 7-game win streak that followed was, the 2006 USC game that officially ended Cal’s runs at the Rose Bowl, the 2009 Oregon game that made me regret making the trip, and the 2007 ASU game that made me hate Dennis Dickson and his robot-celebration for life.