22 Responses to “ Division I-A Football, Organized by Team Nickname ”

1. # 1 Jon Gotow Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 am

   Jason – Nice analysis 🙂

   From the “I… have no idea conference” the VA Tech ‘hokie’ is a turkey, or some derivation thereof: http://www.hokiesports.com/hokiebird/about.html. They were formerly the ‘fighting gobblers’ but then this morphed into a turkey-ish bird / cartoon character. So I guess they belong in the bird conference – or, uh, maybe the farm animal conference?

   And why would anyone pick a turkey as a mascot in the first place? I’ve always wondered that – seems like you’re just asking to be heckled or mocked. Don’t ask me, I just live here.

2. # 2 Woody Woodrum Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 7:24 am

   Akron’s Zips came from the rubber boots produced by Goodyear there in NE Ohio. They have a kangaroo for a mascot, which makes as much sense as rubber boots.

   UAB Blazers have a dragon mascot, Blaze. It has something to do with Birmingham being a mill town, with its blazing fires producing steel. There is a statue of Vulcan on the hill overlooking downtown.

   Rockets came to Toledo from a game against Carnegie Institute of Technology in 1923, as a player returning a fumble 99 yards for a score looked like a “rocket” roaring downfield for the touchdown.

   Kent State started as “Silver Foxes,” but was changed in the 1920s. Many groups and individuals lay claim to “Golden Flashes,” but it has no significant tie to KSU.

   Finally, Hawkeye was an Indian chief native to the Iowa area, Black Hawk. It also signifies a “pathfinder” sort, with the eyes of a hawk when following or blazing a trail.

3. # 3 Ken Crawford Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 8:55 am

   Personally, I think the “we live here” conference is the toughest. I mean, nobody else plays 9 conference games and a full round robin. Those patsies in the conference of color and their ridiculous conference championship game… phsh…With only 7 teams! Are the kidding!?!

   And those independen… er… “I have no idea” teams. Who do they think they are going on their own like that? Get with the times people and join a real conference.

4. # 4 Ken Crawford Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 am

   Ah man, the conference re-alignment now has “we live here” with 12 teams. So much for the purity of the full round robin!

5. # 5 HydroTech Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 3:34 pm

   @Jon.

   Incorrect. “Hokie” is a made up word. Hokie hokie hokie hi, tech tech VPI.

6. # 6 HydroTech Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm

   Well, I guess VT’s mascot is a turkey. However, a “Hokie” is a made up word.

7. # 7 Jason Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 3:39 pm

   Well, at its core, aren’t all words made up?

   Hokie is also a kind of stone.

   I’m torn. Technically I think I should move the Hokies back into the “I have no idea” category, because really. Hokies?

8. # 8 Scott Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm

   The theology monikor is weak, but most of the rest are good.

9. # 9 Jason Says:
   October 22nd, 2009 at 4:15 pm

   Thanks for the review, Scott. If you think theology is bad, suggest something better.

   (And it’s “moniker,” btw.)

10. # 10 ragnarok Says:
    October 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Neat list!

    I think ASU’s mascot actually refers to a specific weather phenomenon found in the desert, like a dust devil, but different. I’d put them more in the same category as the Cyclones, Hurricanes, and Golden Hurricane.

    Why aren’t the Illinois Fighting Illini grouped with the Aztecs, Chippewas, Seminoles and Utes?

    Is South Alabama a Division I-A school now? Are they moving up to the Sun Belt?

11. # 11 Jason Says:
    October 22nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    No, the Sun Devil is just a devil in the desert. There’s no such phenomenon.

    The Illini were a tough one. You could go either way – I feel like they have the name because they are from Illinois, but you’re right, they could move to the Conference of Color.

    I believe South Alabama is transitioning to I-A, yes.

12. # 12 Ken Crawford Says:
    October 22nd, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    Well, as a Catholic, I highly object to “Fighting Irish” being lumped in with all those devilish ones (sarcasm alert!). It’s odd that the only positive, if you could call it positive, religious one is the fighting Irish. And why do us Catholics like that we come from, in part, fighting Irish blood? I’m truly confused. Couldn’t America’s Catholic team be the, I don’t know, St. Peter kicking some Sun Devil’s rear? Or perhaps St. Paul as a soldier for Christ?

    In other categories, I didn’t know a “Ute” was a type of Indian… er… Native American until now. I guess I should have known from the helmet. It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies as a teen, “My Cousin Vinny” when the judge misunderstands the Brooklyn lawyer saying “youth” to say “Ute” and asks, “The two what? What’s a Ute?”

13. # 13 Jason Says:
    October 22nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    Okay, I’ve realigned based on feedback. Ken, you still won’t like where the Irish are. It’s because they’re so focused on fighting.

14. # 14 Scott Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 am

    Good changes, Jason. The Sun Devil *is* a weather phenomenon in the Sonoran Desert, but given the mascot Sparky, it works to lump them into an evil category. Legend is that Sparky was loosely modeled after Walt Disney. At least it’s more original than Bulldogs or Owls, the school’s original mascots.

    Good list. I especially like the “mildly threatening animal division.” Too bad UC Santa Cruz didn’t have a football team, you could have some fun with that one.

15. # 15 bellyseries Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 7:56 am

    Yellow Jackets “mildly threatening?” You’ve never disturbed a nest, obviously.

16. # 16 David Paschich Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Love it! Especially the “Mildly Threatening Animals” division.

    Not sure cowboys are really lovers of rocks and plants…

17. # 17 Jason Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    @David P: Cowboys love everything about the great outdoors.

    @bellyseries: If I had to choose between a bear and yellowjackets, I’d pick the yellowjackets. They are threatening in numbers, no doubt, but anything that can be killed with a flyswatter is a little down on the totem pole from bears and wolverines. That said, the yellowjackets are the only reason that division is even mildly threatening!

18. # 18 GC Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Why on earth are the Bruins in the “Scary Animals Division?”

    Kidding. Go Bears, beat the Cougs.

19. # 19 Tedfordium Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Awesome article, are you predicting games based on how the mascots would fare against each other?

    Bears vs. Gators?

20. # 20 joshiemac Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    This is great. I love the “We live here” section.

    Go Hilltoppers!

21. # 21 royrules22 Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    I have a couple of questions.

    How is a Badger a scary animal?
    What do you mean by “will have to change to real color soon”?

22. # 22 Jason Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    As Wikipedia will tell you, Badgers are mean and tenacious. “Badgers are capable of fighting off much larger animals such as wolves, coyotes and bears.”

    The two teams in the color division formerly were named after native Americans, and changed their names. That’s my way of suggesting that perhaps naming your team after an indian tribe is so politically incorrect that it’s inevitable that they will have to follow in the footsteps of the Stanford Indians and the Syracuse Orangemen. Though it’s a little tongue in cheek.